Back when I first started blogging, I used to do a sort of New Year’s resolutions post where I’d set some goals for the year, come back to it the following New Year’s, assess how I did, and start over. I could’ve sworn I did it last year, too, but apparently, I didn’t. Then again, about this time last year was super shitty. Things are much calmer this year, aside from my fucked-up dreams about receiving unprovoked/undeserved angry texts and finding snakes in my bed. Hmm.
The only thing I do definitely remember mentioning was that popular thing where you right down all the good things that happen during the year, throw them in a jar, and read them at New Year’s. And that worked exactly how I predicted it would–I forgot within a few weeks, so a few weeks ago I dumped out the post-it notes I’d stuck in there and replaced them with laundry quarters.
Now, here’s the thing that’s not gonna make any sense given the theme of this post: I don’t totally buy into resolutions. I see their merits–a new calendar year is an automatic fresh start, in some ways–but I see their problems, too, like a sense of failure if you don’t keep them. So I don’t like to make hard and fast resolutions. I prefer sort of generalized goals and things I’d like to work on without deadlines or pressure or this sense that if I don’t do it, I’ve failed. Typically, the point of resolutions is to somehow better oneself, and that takes hard work, so why make it a black-or-white, succeed-or-fail thing? Trying is enough sometimes.
So, my resolutions-that-aren’t-really-resolutions for 2014.
- Be nicer. I guess I did kind of resolve to do this early on in 2013 and I do think I’ve done a pretty good job, but I still say plenty of rude things about people (mostly Paul’s mom). So the goal in 2014 is to keep on keeping on.
- Be more positive. This is another carryover from last year. I’ll always be bitching about something, no doubt, so don’t be looking for positivity in my writing. This goes hand-in-hand with being nicer, but people love tearing each other down these days, and I don’t want to be a part of it. You can be critical without being mean, and if you want the world to be a more positive, happier place, you have to start with you.
- Don’t take anybody’s shit. Another carryover. I let people walk all over me in the past and put up with lots of shitty things being said and done to me for the sake of keeping peace, but I’m done with that.. There’s no good reason I should let people hurt me, so I won’t. The catch is I don’t know if I can nicely tell people to fuck right off, so I’m either gonna have to figure that one out or allow my non-resolutions to cancel each other out.
- Stand up for other people. Unfortunately, part of letting people treat me like shit meant I also let people treat other people like shit for the same reasons, but I’m trying to end that, too. I just wish I didn’t have to experience how much it hurts firsthand for that to happen.
- Identify and ditch toxic people. Good news: I don’t have to worry about this a whole hell of a lot because I basically already did it. Bad news: I will probably be stuck with Paul’s mom for the rest of my life, so I’m gonna have to settle for continuing to limit contact as much as possible and referring to my previous two points.
- Spend less time on Facebook. It’s dumb and wastes too much time.
- Write more. Blogging only half counts. I need to finish and submit pieces. The fact that I’ve been struggling with how to make a potentially great piece work as well as I want it to is making this hard. I’d also like to write more for IYS–keep myself in music journalism, crank out good pieces, etc.
- Submit writing. I have to finish and revise some things to the point where I only hate them a little, but they can’t live on my computer forever.
- Clean my fucking apartment. The dirty-dish pile is getting smaller…
- Do more yoga.
- Play my fucking guitar(s).
- Read more books. I think last year I set a Goodreads goal of 15 books and wasn’t close to meeting it yet set the same goal this year. This isn’t 100% in my control, but the main problem is having time for reading, not actually doing it.
- Beef up my resume and get a new job. Seriously, sometimes I realize just how much work I put into IYS and how badass my resume is gonna be when I get around to updating it. That said, this is currently in limbo while Paul applies for other jobs, because I go where he goes. So basically my life right now is in Paul’s hands, which he’s aware of, but I’ll have to phrase it like that and see how much it freaks him out.
- Donate more money to charity. I do a pretty good job of this as it is and it almost entirely depends on how much I bring in and how much is left after bills are paid, but I totally believe in the power of helping.
- Buy myself more nice things. I deserve more nice things, damn it, and yes, it’s totally possible to be both selfish and selfless with my money.
- Meet new people. I’m gonna pretend new friends at work counts.
- Get rid of all this shit sitting in my apartment I don’t want or need. At least I’ve identified a small pile of those items.
- Work to make IYS as awesome as possible. The numbers are there. We’re competing with bigger music publications, and part of what I’ve been up to lately will hopefully give us even bigger numbers and raise us some money.